Friday, May 21, 2010

Room 334

All the posts up until now have been transcriptions of other desk clerks' experiences leading up until the time I got hired. Since I was hired six months ago, I've filled out my own share of incident reports, none of which have graced the pages of this blog because of my attempt to stay true to the temporal continuity.

I'm gonna skip that principle right now, for sake of this particular entry. About an hour ago, a guest came down and said that someone had been passed out in the bathroom all night. My friend, the custodian, went up to the third floor and opened up the door to see who was in there, and indeed, a woman was curled on her knees, wedged into the small area to the side of the toilet with her bare exposed ass sticking straight in the air.

But she wasn't breathing.

Janitor came down and told me, "you ain't gonna believe this -- we got a dead body on the third floor." I immediately called 911 and asked for assistance, then went upstairs to verify what he had seen. He didn't tell me about the bare ass of a dead old woman sticking up in the air, I had to discover that for myself. I couldn't see her face because it was seriously wedged into the corner behind the toilet, but I deduced from her ethnicity (white) and the age of her skin what customer the janitor had discovered.

The firemen arrived. They were laughing amongst themselves about weekend plans, even after they checked out the bathroom. We went into her empty bedroom together, where there were no bottles of alcohol or syringes or crack pipes or anything -- just a few chocolate chip cookies wrapped in a white paper napkin and a pack of newports sitting by the television which she'd left on.

Cops came after firemen -- less friendly -- asked for my i.d., took it and went upstairs. I had a cigarette with the janitor. A television camera man came up to us and asked if it was crime related. "No, old lady, natural causes," and he lost interest pretty quick. Cop came back downstairs, made me wait outside while he interviewed the janitor. Then he made the janitor wait outside while he interviewed me. Then he told us she died of natural causes and gave us our id's back.

The coroner came and got her about 45 minutes after the first 911 call. He was up there for awhile as I set up the complementary coffee. His assistant came in and took the elevator up with the gurney. They took the body out and came back really quick to take a business card and have me sign my first coroner's report.

I had a cigarette around 7am with the janitor. He told me that somebody was already taking a shower in the bathroom it all went down in.

1 comment:

  1. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you will not have a leg to stand on...................................................

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